Transforming Church

The payoff for listening is that we learn more when we listen. If we listen to others and understand what they want, they are more likely to listen to us. You will be more likely to get your desired outcome if you demonstrate the desire to listen to others. We are less likely to jump to conclusions if we listen actively. There is a sense of power in receiving the information, a building of stronger relationships, and increased likelihood of achieving positive outcomes that flows from good listening skills. Tips about listening: suspend judgment, identify key words and phrases, identify the intensity of the expression, identify the common or dominant themes.

Planning and executing an intervention: There is always an adjustment needing to be made in the workplace. The problem occurs when the performance of an individual begins to deteriorate. You must then think of an intervention. Your position as a leader is at stake. If the group does not see you intervene, you will lose credibility. You should neither devalue or enable the person. Neither of these is an intervention. An integral key to leadership is seeing the value of others. If you do not confront the situation, you are enabling it to continue. If you truly value the employee, you will intervene and not avoid the situation.
1. You must first recognize there is a problem.
2. Next, you must document on a performance or behavior level.
3. Identify what specifically you are dealing with. Identify the behaviors associated with the problem.
4. Write down the issues.
5. Identify the resources available to you: Mutual Ministry, Personnel Committee.
6. Establish guidelines for disciplinary action.
7. Make sure you understand any potential legal issues.
8. Take an inventory of how the person is valuable to you; you need to take into the intervention a sense of their value.
9. Formally arrange the meeting time and place so the person realizes that a serious matter is to be discussed. Hold it away from the rest of the staff.

The Intervention
1. Begin by conveying to the person that they are important to you. Here you are setting the tone and emphasizing the value of the individual. “I value you, and I value you enough to confront you.”
2. Express your concern about the problem.
3. Ask them to hold their comments and questions until you are done. Be succinct and direct.
4. When you are finished, allow them to respond. Now you need to listen to assure that they are hearing what you had to say.
5. Reflective listening is needed here. After they speak, you reflect back you heard them say to make sure you understand. Discipline is required to do this well.

You must help them build an action plan. They must first commit to making a change. As they build their action plan, it must be in writing. There should be dates and specific follow up plans. They will be much more engaged if they write the plan. That process commits and involves them in the plan. They will not be able to leave without having heard the problem because it will be reflected in the action plan that they write. You are looking for a positive result of the intervention.

Dealing with emotional outbursts from staff.
When you are dealing with a very emotionally charged situation, you are tempted to offer a fix for the problem. Really, what is needed at this point is a lowering of the emotional state. Reflective listening, and then leading the discussion to draw down the emotion is the most effective response.

Let them know they are being heard. Do not tell them how they feel unless they explicitly state that emotion. If you hear them express that they are frustrated, do not say, I see you are angry. If you attempt to tell them how they feel, they will defend themselves. You must just reflect back the emotions they have expressly stated.

Sometimes, you must reflect several times to draw down the emotion. Once someone begins to feel heard, the emotions may first intensify before ebbing. The person knows they will not get an answer immediately, venting is the important issue. If you try to suggest a fix during this emotional stage, the other person will not hear you anyway. The emotions must first be vented to allow any real listening to occur.

Rules for Feedback. These ideas came from another Graduate course-Enhancing Leadership Skills at GSU.
1. Focus on specific behaviors. This is one that is violated the most. Bad Attitude is not acceptable feedback. What are the behaviors? Many managers cannot name the behaviors. Often our feelings about the person cloud our ability to be objective. Managers have to have clear expectations about what should be done. We have to know what needs to be done ourselves.
2. Keep it impersonal. Separate your feelings about the person from their objective performance.
3. Keep it goal-oriented
4. Make it well timed. Do not immediately give feedback when an employee is recovering from a big mistake. Let them process a little first.
5. Ensure understanding. Have the employee repeat back to you the feedback to ensure understanding.
6. If negative, make sure the behavior is controllable by the recipient. There’s little value in reminding a person of some shortcoming over which he or she has no control. 85% of the time, the problem is the system or the job and not the person.
7. Tailor the feedback to fit the person.
8. Put it in writing. People often become defensive and shut down when they hear feedback about their challenges. Before the intervention, write out the behaviors that must be addressed and the goals that must be achieved. After verbally reviewing the feedback, give a copy to the staff person and make them sign a copy for your files.