Newsletter Articles
Coaching Part 2: How to Coach
Coaching is an amorphous word. It can be used in variety of ways, and in the coaching relationship one needs to be very clear about the role the coach is playing in the relationship with the coachee. One would never have described Woody Hayes of Ohio State Football fame as a peer of his team players. Coach can imply someone who is a powerful authority bringing on a new green player. The phrase coach can have a negative tone of hierarchy, praise and judgment, blessing and cursing.
One of the early things I discovered in the literature being produced for the church was that those promoting coaching processes were advocating a pure and simple coaching model. They assumed a volunteer network of people who were peers, and, in fact, most coaching will be done in that environment. They affirmed the positive images of the good coach giving of himself/herself for the good of the player, and often neglected to talk about the negative images of coaching that some people carry with them. The style of coaching we are defining is centered on the player not the coach, but we still need to be clear about the different coaching roles and how they can influence the coaching process.
There is a significant difference between coaching a peer and some of the tradition images of coaching. The coach must always have the image in mind of wearing three hats. The coach as leader provides a relationship with the "coachee" (the one being coached, probably a made-up term, but I’ll use it in the rest of this article, because it works!) in which the leader shares the purpose, mission, vision and values of the organization. The coach as manager brings a focus on goal-setting that asks the coachee to work on meeting the needs of the organization and individual and team goals, and is reviewed by performance appraisals and disciplinary processes when the work and worker are not doing well. The pure coach wants only for the "coachee" to find her/his own way, identify personal areas for growth, assist in the process of the coachee finding possible paths for growth, and be willing to be accountable to herself/himself for growth. The coach in this third style of coaching is truly a mid-wife.
When coaching, you need to be deeply aware of the relationship, especially if working as a manager in a paid staff situation as lead pastor, or manager of other staff. It is helpful to even "put on the hat", with a gesture, or to say in the conversation, "I need to put on my leader’s hat, or my manager’s hat", if you are coaching someone and need to represent the organization and its values, or hold up a higher standard of performance or expectation for the coachee.
Let's talk about the specifics. Coaching can be one of the easiest relationships, requiring but few basics. Coaching is less about sharing ideas, than about sharing lives and futures. The coach and coachee need to be willing to invest the time, uninterrupted by cell phones and centered on the conversation and the process, and create a genuine space for conversation. The coachee and coach need to have a relationship that has good "chemistry", i.e., there needs to be a genuine interest in being present with each other and encouraging in attitude and body language. The coach and coachee need to negotiate the number of times they will meet, how often, where and when, and agree that these coaching sessions will be a priority on their calendars.
Pure coaching is a series of conversations with the coachee that focus on those conflict or growth issues the coachee chooses to work on. These may include personal issues; specific areas of growth for greater effectiveness; strategies for dealing with conflict and relational issues; discovering ways to grow more deeply into the coachees’ own life goals; and even assisting with developing strategies to meet work goals. The coach may care deeply for the coachee, but does not accept responsibility for how the coachee does or does not live out the goals and plans negotiated through the coaching process. Likewise, coaching is never counseling! For clergy that can sometimes become a problem because of their training. Rather, the goal is to encourage the coachee to have a creative space in which to look for new and creative alternatives for overcoming stumbling blocks in his/her journey. In the process, the coachee accepts accountability for working on those strategies and goals the coachee develops as the coach asks focused and guided questions, provides resources for the coachee, and gives feedback when necessary.
Coaching relies on asking good and great questions, not giving answers, counseling, teaching a program or process, or giving advice. Questions have great power in freeing the individual to think and do his or her own work. Bob Logan and Gary Reinecke, (in their Coaching 101 Handbook, Church Smart Resources, Carol Stream, Illinois), outline three kinds of questions that are a guideline to asking effective questions: RELATE questions (How are you doing? Where are you now? How can I be praying for you?) REFLECT questions (What is your progress? What is really important? What obstacles are you facing? Where do you want to go?), and REFOCUS questions (What do you want to accomplish? What will you do? How will you measure you progress? Which path will you choose?) The accountability that comes from two people in open and affirming dialog is a gift that allows for growth and builds bonds of strength for you leadership team. Following a coaching session, the coach prays for the coachee and writes a simple outline of specific accountabilities the coachee has agreed to live out.
More like this one in | Newsletter Articles , Power Tools
Comments on this Entry:
Ron Lee recently retired from Peace Lutheran, a thriving community effectively reaching the postmodern culture. He is currently training coaches for Natural Church Development, and working to develop the vision of TransformingChurch.com.
Posted by: Gregg Burch at November 16, 2005 01:38 PM
Post a comment