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Coaching Part 3: Practical Approaches to Coaching
Coaching relationships are powerful. Kai Nilsen and Janie Tinklenberg, who shared pastoral leadership with me for nearly a decade, were my coaching peers. We met each Monday, not to do business, but in addition to our work related team meetings, took 1 ½ hours to do coaching in tryad. Kai had introduced tryad (very small accountability groups of three persons meeting for prayer and study) into our congregational small group mix, and we used that model because of its inherent strength. While one was coaching, another the coachee, the third person would observe and provide additional insight to the process. Since this was done in round-robin style, each of us had twenty minutes as coach, then as coachee, and 10 minutes as to offer observation and reflection. In my own process of looking for new coaching relationships, I would look for a tryad, especially in the early and learning stages, because it is a powerful “action/reflection” model for coaching. The group is small enough for trust and candor, but having three people in a coaching tryad has the advantage of keeping the process more focused and honest, or so it seemed to us.
A larger group could certain meet for two hours, spend a half-hour over coffee and conversation, catching-up, getting started, and then break down into dyads (groups of two) or tryad (groups of three) for the remaining one and one half hours of coaching. If you have a local pastors’ group or other small group, staff team, leadership team, or even in your family setting, this would be a very effective way for deeper relationships to form, but, more importantly, for the individuals in the group to deal creatively and accountably with issues that are real to them. Of course, the person who always grows most in the relationship is the coach. There is something about the human spirit that has trouble settling in to work on our specific problems or address specific needs. Coaching provides the time, the space, the person who is present, and the structure in which to move your life along and discover deeper meaning and purpose.
In the life of many congregations, it would be refreshing to have a place and a relationship for new and emerging leaders, where the church could provide a simple place for spiritual growth. All of which loops us back to the context in which we do ministry today that we discussed at the beginning of this three-part article on coaching. If we are about making the connections between God and each of us as his individual creation; and, if our lives are a gift to be managed and given purpose and meaning, what better gift can a church give than to provide a place for people to look at their own lives and find new and creative solutions that free and grow the soul? Coaching is another of the ways in which we can support each other on the journey of life and it may be right for you and the relationships that nourish you.
For more information: Myles Downey, Effective Coaching, New York, TEXERE, 2003; Bob Logan and Gary Reniecke, Coaching 101 Handbook, Church Smart Resources, Carol Stream, Illinois. The ELCA’s Division for Outreach is involved with pilot projects in trial synods throughout the church.
You may also email me with questions or recommendations about additional resources: rlee83@sprintpcs.com
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